Here’s an article with something for everyone. If you are a dude then chances are you inexplicably enjoy staring at images of hideous frogs. In fact you likely spent a portion of your youth seeking them out to make your own slimy pet or for the sheer purpose of freaking out your sister. If you are a female then the purpose of this article is to freak you out all over again.
Geeky side-note before we begin – there are actually differences between frogs and toads. One main difference is skin texture. Toads usually have dry, bumpy and warty skin. Conversely, frogs tend to have smooth skin.
Frogs also have tiny teeth but toads lack any teeth (like grandma). There are other differences but for our purposes we’re still calling this article “12 weirdest frogs”. Why? Because f**k science and their tedious labeling system.
The Ornate Horned Frog
We were going to try to avoid any easy jokes about certain frogs looking like Jabba the Hutt but as you can see that’s going to be nearly impossible. The image above features the ornate horned frog. This monstrosity can be found in Uruguay, Brazil, and northern Argentina (in case you were looking for one). Although it looks like an inert glob of green sludge, it’s quick to pounce on small rodents, birds, or even other frogs. Basically it’s fast when food acquisition is involved.
The Transparent Frog
This awesome see-through frog reminds us of an educational statue you’d see in your biology class… a statue that would likely have several missing pieces and gum stuck inside. This unusual frog is known as Hyalinobatrachium pellucidum. But since that is unpronounceable to everyone except Wookies most people simply call them glass or crystal frogs for obvious reasons.
The Turtle Frog
Remember that snarky comment we made earlier about scientists and their tedious naming of species? We take it back because any name other than “turtle frog” for this creature would be criminal. This frog, which basically looks like a streaking turtle, is located in Australia where all the cool animals hang out. This little guy is capable of burrowing underground where it can call out to others and mate. Their eggs are laid in the moist sand below the surface where they develop directly into frogs. You get the point: they handle most of their business underground…
…just like CHUDS.
The Amazon Horned Frog
This particular frog has the most debonair expression to ever grace the face of any amphibian. He looks like he’d show up at a dinner party and make you feel like you didn’t dress as well as you could have. These plump amphibians can grow up to 8 inches in length and can be found in freshwater marshes throughout the Amazon Basin. They are insanely territorial and quite ravenous. Should anything resembling food happen by, they will spring out from their muddy hideouts and gulp down their prey whole. Interestingly, some of these frogs have been found dead in the wild with the remains of oversized victims still stuck in their mouths. So they die as they live, making others feel inadequate even as food.
The Atelopus Frog
The atelopus frog is an endangered neo-tropical species that once thrived throughout Costa Rica and Panama. We know what you are thinking. How can something with such a lame name look so cool? Well some folks refer to the creature as a clown frog or the Costa Rican Variable Harlequin Toad. They are also fairly popular on the club scene, where they can often be found mating with glow-sticks on the dance floor.
You’d better enjoy this retarded image. We paid a graphic designer $800.00 dollars for this.
The Crucifix Toad
The rather rotund Crucifix toad is a ground dwelling frog which inhabits western New South Wales and Queensland. Aside from simply looking like a hamster that’s had a nasty accident with toxic chemicals it also has some unusual behaviors. For instance, to survive long periods without water the toad buries itself underground and coats itself in a cocoon. Also, when provoked by enemies (or stupid kids with sticks) the frog exudes a sticky “frog glue” onto its dorsal skin. The males in the species have been known to use this glue to attach themselves onto larger females during mating. We assume this same nauseating method is also used by some really large human couples during intercourse. Yeah, we went there.
The Purple Frog
The Purple Frog
Okay, now really, can this freakish thing even be classified as a frog? Perhaps a better question is can it be classified as anything? Well science says yes, damn it…they call it a purple frog or Nasikabatrachus sahyadrensis. It is also known as a pig-nose frog but that one tends to elicit immature giggles. This particular burrowing frog inhabits the Western Ghats Mountains of Southern India. When the species was discovered in 2003, scientists believed it was a living fossil that had split up from other frogs 150 million years ago. Subsequently it didn’t change much thereafter. Like we said earlier…freak of nature.
The New Frog on the Block
This bizarre looking species of Nectophrynoides is so new to science that it has not yet been given a common name. We’re hoping they go with our choice though (NFOTB). As of this writing, the toad is being studied by researchers in Italy and at the Natural History Museum, London. It is one of 15 amphibian species in Tanzania that’s been recently discovered. Our theory is that the toad was created by a videogame designer and somehow managed to spring to life. From pixels to solid matter…the end is near people.
The Malayan Horned Frog
The sinister looking creature pictured above is a Malayan Horned Frog or Megophrys nasuta. The frog ranges from southern Thailand and Peninsular Malaysia to Singapore, Sumatra and Borneo. It is well known for its ability to camouflage itself as a leaf on the forest floor.
The frog’s distinctive shape includes a huge head, wide mouth, and sharply pointed protuberances above its eyes. It would also make an excellent Saturday morning cartoon villain.
Chile Darwin’s Frog
If you thought the last frog could pass for a leaf well this one puts that species to shame. In fact the Malayan horned frog should be glad that Chile Darwin’s frog is extinct because otherwise nobody would care about its ripped off gimmick. This species used to have an unusual method of parental care. The male would clutch fertilized eggs into his vocal sac where they would hatch into tadpoles after eight days. Once the male felt the newly hatched tadpoles wriggling about, he would carry them to a stream and release the young. That seems like a lot of work though so no wonder they haven’t been seen since 1978.
Everything about the Suriname toad is hideous. First there’s its disturbing appearance. It basically looks like road kill…that is, road kill that all of the other road kill try to keep away from. It’s method of reproduction is just as horrid. During the “mating dance” eggs and sperm and are firmly pressed by the male into the female’s back…
The female develops a layer on her back over the eggs where they incubate until they are ready to hatch. Eventually, the froglets emerge from their mother’s back and unleash sickly awfulness onto the world.
The Cruziohyla Calcarifer
Due to the fact that our previous entry was so revolting we decided to end on a high note with this awesome looking frog. The Cruziohyla calcarifer can be found throughout Central America and northern South America. This sleek amphibian has several uniquely distinctive traits. One such feature includes the two colors in its eyes. It also has striking coloration and grasshopper-ish arm and leg structures. It is our sincere hope that viewing this creature helps wash away the image of the gruesome suriname toad’s egg filled back.